Friday, April 18, 2008

The Vow of Silence Joke (page 22)

A guy joins a monastery and takes a vow of silence: he’s allowed to say two words every seven years.
After the first seven years, the elders bring him in and ask for his two words.
"Cold floors," he says. They nod and send him away.
Seven more years pass. They bring him back in and ask for his two words. He clears his throat.
"Bad food," he says. They nod and send him away.
Seven more years pass. They bring him in for his two words.
"I quit," he says.
"That’s not surprising," the elders say. "You’ve done nothing but complain since you got here."

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

I said a really bad word on the Jay Thomas Show



I was on the Jay Thomas show on Sirius Radio today. I was the guest after Carolyn Jessop, who escaped from the cultlike polygamist Fundamentalist Church of Latter Day Saints. It went really well. Uh, I hadn't anticipated having to tell the gorilla joke on the air and actually messed it up. What a giant boner. Also, Jay got me to say a very bad word. Maybe I can get an MP3 on here.

Thursday, April 10, 2008

Lawyer Joke #1 (page 38)

A guy asks a lawyer what his fee is.
"I charge $50 for three questions," the lawyer says.
"That’s awfully steep, isn’t it?" the guy asks.
"Yes," the lawyer replies, "Now what’s your final question?"

Tuesday, April 8, 2008

Jokes Every Man Should Know gets a nice nod from Ashley Primis in Philly magazine's "Daily Examiner" blog. She writes: "This compilation is no knock-knock, it’s the gentleman’s ultimate wing-man with PG jokes for awkward cocktail parties, to the so-not-PG jokes for bar banter."

Tuesday, April 1, 2008

A Husband Comes Home Early (page 44)

A guy tells his psychiatrist: “It was terrible. I was away on business, and I sent my wife an e-mail saying I’d be back a day early. I rushed home from the airport. And when I got home I found her in bed with my best friend! I don’t get it. How could she do this to me?"

"Well," reasons the psychiatrist. "Maybe she didn’t get the e-mail."